Your Routine Undead Life.
So everything has gone back to pretty much the norm. Well, as normal as you can get when you're the living undead.
I have invested in a very good brand of toothpaste and toothbrush as well as plenty of dental floss and Listerine. I have a feeling that I should be taking very good care of my teeth as I have to rely on them for my meals. I wonder what would happen if I asked a dentist for dentures with fangs. For that matter I wonder what would happen if I went to a dentist. Suppose he starts poking at my canine teeth and they start to grow in the middle of a scaling or whatever?
I wonder if I should buy an electric toothbrush.
Shit, I just got a call from Great-Aunt Marshall! She's coming up to town to visit me! God, what do I do? She's my last living relative and she can sniff out a lie from ten miles away.
I wonder if any vampires have vampire great-aunts that they have to deal with for the rest of their long lives. Imagine having to deal with Great-Aunt Marshall for the next fifty thousand years or so. For that matter, can vampires have families? Or are they all made, like I am?
Another thought. Are vampires immortal? Everyone says they are but just about every fact I have ever known about vampires has turned out to be nothing but bullshit except for the fact that we drink blood and have retractable fangs like cat claws. But I don't have a heart, or at least, I don't have a beating heart. So am I immortal? Hmmm.
I don't think I want to walk out in front of an incoming car and test that. Beating heart or no beating heart, I like being alive, or at least pseudo-alive, just fine.
I just realized I know next to nothing of my new, erm, race or species or whatever you call it. That's kind of pathetic for me. I mean, I couldn't care less that I know shit about vampires but if my secret ever comes out and people start asking me questions, they would think I'm pathetic.
Oh, come on. I'm an orphan with only a great aunt for a relative, and even though I'm suppose to treasure her like gold since she's my last living relative, I couldn't be more fed up with her. I'm not exactly little Ms Orphan Annie with a heart of gold, if you haven't noticed yet.
Ah, fuck it. I have to start cleaning up my flat before the old bat's inspection. Vampire History 101 can wait until she goes back to San Francisco.
I have invested in a very good brand of toothpaste and toothbrush as well as plenty of dental floss and Listerine. I have a feeling that I should be taking very good care of my teeth as I have to rely on them for my meals. I wonder what would happen if I asked a dentist for dentures with fangs. For that matter I wonder what would happen if I went to a dentist. Suppose he starts poking at my canine teeth and they start to grow in the middle of a scaling or whatever?
I wonder if I should buy an electric toothbrush.
Shit, I just got a call from Great-Aunt Marshall! She's coming up to town to visit me! God, what do I do? She's my last living relative and she can sniff out a lie from ten miles away.
I wonder if any vampires have vampire great-aunts that they have to deal with for the rest of their long lives. Imagine having to deal with Great-Aunt Marshall for the next fifty thousand years or so. For that matter, can vampires have families? Or are they all made, like I am?
Another thought. Are vampires immortal? Everyone says they are but just about every fact I have ever known about vampires has turned out to be nothing but bullshit except for the fact that we drink blood and have retractable fangs like cat claws. But I don't have a heart, or at least, I don't have a beating heart. So am I immortal? Hmmm.
I don't think I want to walk out in front of an incoming car and test that. Beating heart or no beating heart, I like being alive, or at least pseudo-alive, just fine.
I just realized I know next to nothing of my new, erm, race or species or whatever you call it. That's kind of pathetic for me. I mean, I couldn't care less that I know shit about vampires but if my secret ever comes out and people start asking me questions, they would think I'm pathetic.
Oh, come on. I'm an orphan with only a great aunt for a relative, and even though I'm suppose to treasure her like gold since she's my last living relative, I couldn't be more fed up with her. I'm not exactly little Ms Orphan Annie with a heart of gold, if you haven't noticed yet.
Ah, fuck it. I have to start cleaning up my flat before the old bat's inspection. Vampire History 101 can wait until she goes back to San Francisco.
posted by Darkschunt at 10:08 AM
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