I don't have a pulse!

Not that I would ever know because even when i was alive I never could tell how to feel a pulse on my wrist. But I ran up seven flights of steps and felt no heartbeat in my chest.
Hmm. Interesting. Does that mean I still have a heart? Or it's just like completely still in there? So what happens to hearts if they don't keep pumping? Do they start growing mold in there?
Ew. That's a thought.
Solz called me today. And so did Julie. I let the answering machine picked up. Then they showed up after classes and banged on the door but I pretended I wasn't home. I don't know why. I just...didn't feel like talking to them... like...I don't know...
I just feel so totally mixed up over what I am now. I'm not ready to talk to them about it and I guess you could say i'm a little worried too. Like, how do you resume a normal life after you've realized you've just become a vampire? Can you ever have a normal life? What if they can see in my face that I'm no longer the same old Agatha again?
Am I still the same Agatha?